Narrow

~
In imitation of Mia Farrow,
A woman both straight and narrow
Distributed presents,
To African peasants,
Traveling by horsecart and wheelbarrow
~

Knish

~
Jerome, after having a piece fish,
Emboldened himself to wish,
He closed both his eyes,
They were big as two pies,
And wished he could have a nice knish.
~

Tambourine

~
A lady who oft played the tambourine
Attempted to enjoy a tangerine,
It was not very ripe,
And in spite of the hype,
It tasted a little like kerosene.
~

Fabergé

~
A man bought an egg, Fabergé,
Which brought to him much recherché,
He remembered the time,
When he loved her sublime,
But that was only last May.
~

Drakes

~
A duck named Gracie had a thing for drakes,
She chased them around with garden rakes,
When she got invited,
She got so excited,
She forgot how to put on the brakes.
~

Fez

~
There once was a gent from Suez,
Who was famous for wearing a fez,
Though know to be prolix,
On tic-tacs and Buicks,
He'd turn up his nose at a pez.
~

Cubicle

~
A man who oft rode his bicycle,
Around and around in his cubicle,
Ran over a wizard,
Who pleated his gizzard,
And twisted the ends of his popsicle.
~

Cue

~
A woman named Sue was so blue,
She had missed an important cue,
As the curtain came down,
There were whispers in town,
They complained, so Sue said, "so, sue".
~

Bruited

~
At one time in town it was bruited about,
That the sheriff had roughed up and booted a lout,
He claimed 'twas his duty,
To thwack the man's booty,
But the townsfolk just hooted out loud.
~

Buckingham

~
A lady in love with Lord Buckingham,
Sent him a card good-lucking him.
He snarled and sniffed at it,
She got so miffed at it,
She seriously considered chucking him.
~

Sanguine

~
A lady who, feeling sanguine,
Indulged herself with a tangerine,
It was not very ripe,
And in spite of the hype,
It tasted a lot like sour cream.
~

Gorgon

~
An alien resembling a gorgon,
Was driving a sportscar, a Morgan,
While looking at knickers,
And munching on Snickers,
His conclusion was already foregone
~

Sunny

~
I thought that with a mood so sunny,
I might develop a taste for money,
It worked for a trice,
And it added some spice,
Now everything I write just gets punny.
~

Ghoul

~
A man went wading in a pool,
Where he encountered a ghastly ghoul.
He wriggled and thrashed,
Till the ghoul's nose he smashed,
With a chop he had learned in school.
~

Mum

~
There once was a jolly good soccer mum,
Whose allergies made her quite numb,
In spite of her disability,
She relished her facility,
In hitting the ball with her bum.
~

Tangerine

~
A woman with preference for tangerine,
Would nonetheless feel easy and sanguine,
If her cat had been sweeter,
And half-way he would meet her,
And she wished he would stop all that Badgering
~

President

~
A gentleman smelling of Pepsodent,
And not actually a legal resident,
Made many stump speeches,
To roaches and leeches,
It's doubtful he'll ever be president.
~

Gorgon

~
An alien resembling a gorgon,
Was driving a sportscar, a Morgan,
While peeking at knickers,
And munching on Snickers,
He ran into a moose in Oregon.
~

Fences

~
There never was a consensus
On the benefit or detriment of fences,
A neighbor might say,
Neighbor, keep away,
And neither would come to their senses.
~

Robot

~
A robot, not altogether mechanical.
Made efforts to incorporate a botanical,
He sat on a shelf.
And watered himself,
And deemed he was almost Satanical.
~

Prone

~
A man who was terribly prone,
To infection of skin and bone,
He was somewhat reticent,
To use modern medicine,
But injected himself with cortisone.
~

Encanto

~
(Spanish)
Un dia en el camposanto
Un ministero fue encanto,
Ël grite ¡ay, Oaxaca!,
Ël dice ¡santa vaca!,
Los muertos son levanto

(English translation)
One day in a graveyard,
A minister was enchanted.
He yelled, Oaxaca!
He said, holy cow!
The dead have risen.
~

Lisp

~
A man with a sibilant lisp,
Wrote down on his shopping list,
As he adjusted his gaiters,
He wrote: chicken with taters,
But he wanted them crispy,not crisp.
~

Gorse

~
Whilst riding through bushes of gorse,
On my ever-obliging horse,
I stopped for some lentils,
With rabbis and Yentls,
And morros with beets, of course.
~

Boxcar

~
There once was a hobo named Oscar,
Who habitually slept in a boxcar,
He took singing lessons,
Satisfying his obsessions,
Of appearing in operas like Tosca.
~

Sour

~
Once an MP was so sour,
He lost all his parliamentary power,
He paced up and down,
Around London Town,
And then sent himself to the Tower.
~

Host

~
He said, though I don’t like to boast,
I may be the world’s greatest host,
His own praise he was lavishing,
He called his cuisine ravishing,
Though in truth he could only make toast.
~

Farmer

~
There once was a New England farmer,
Whose feelings grew ever warmer,
For Sally the blonde one,
He felt her the fond one,
She was oh such a Nantucket charmer.
~

Alert

~
There once was a lady on red alert,
Who struggled and moaned 'cause her stomach hurt,
She needed some soothing
To get herself moving
Cause she'd eaten four shoes and a skirt
~

Alligator

~
A man going down in the elevator,
Inadvertantly stepped on a sweet-potater,
He squished it most thoroughly,
Even Edward R. Murrow-ly,
And thrashed around like an alligator.
~