Potato

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A builder with gallons of play-doh,
After a large meal of beef and potato,
With considerable hassle,
Constructed a castle,
Finished with rabbet and dado.
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Tournequet

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On his leg was a homemade tourniquet,
That man who had words with the local twit,
He was still a born fighter,
So he twisted it tighter,
Then went blue and died when he had a fit.
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Bustle

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A woman with pads in her bustle,
Was feeling a bit short of muscle,
Came on to a gent,
Who was tired and spent,
And found herself doing the hustle
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Caustic

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A musician who hated Earl Bostic
Once hit him with a la crosse stick
She snorted and whimpered,
She flipped and she simpered,
And soon she did wax really caustic.
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Kits

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A fox who was raising her kits,
Had one that was giving her fits,
She wheedled and cajoled him,
Proceeded to scold him,
Then paddled him right where he sits.
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Siam

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An old guy I knew from Siam, he
Moved far away, to Miami,
He went there to meet her,
His wife in the theater,
She could act some but was terribly hammy.
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Federer

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A hot tennis ace, Roger Federer,
Got better and better and better-er,
Till his girlfriend came up,
And he lost the big cup,
He wished that he never had met-her-er.
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Luffing

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He noticed the sloop's sail was luffing,
So he proceeded at puffing and huffing,
With high flying hopes,
He wrestled the ropes,
It was really much ado about nothing.
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Attention

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A lady of looks and pretension,
Went naked to get some attention,
The neighbors were flustered,
Threw chick peas and mustard,
And sent her off to detention
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Indignant

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A woman of mien most indignant,
Discovered, either real or a figment,
A node on the toad,
Living in her abode,
Happily, it was not malignant.
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Goat

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A little old lady from Terre Haute,
Had two red hens and a billy goat,
The goat ran away,
And the hens wouldn't lay,
So she left town on the very next ferry boat.
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Hatteras

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Detective, Sir Alan Quatermas,
Loved a maiden from old Cape Hatteras,
To his ultimate shock,
She turned into a rock,
And he to a duck-billed platypus.
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Kits

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A fox who was raising her kits,
Had one that was giving her fits,
She wheedled and cajoled him,
Proceeded to scold him,
Then paddled him right where he sits.
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Thistle

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While blowing the fluff off a thistle,
I inadvertantly started to whistle,
Then chewed on a drumstick,
And conjured a limerick,
Researching a rhyme for gristle,
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Funicular

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After traveling down by funicular,
A gentleman rather cunicular,
Exploring a cave,
Was soon very brave,
And even became spelunkular.
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Egg-timer

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Egg-timer: Device to determine how long it takes an egg to roll down an incline in the egg olympics.


Click here for more.
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Egg-sit Strategy

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Egg-sit strategy: A plan to get out of hatch duty.

Click here for more.
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Chardonnay

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While drinking a thimble of Chardonnay,
And thinking of a sunset by Claude Monet,
My glass was replenished,
Until I was finished,
After which I departed Zone A.
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Agua

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A lady who lived in Managua,
Would make tea with Perrier agua,
She dipped her bag faintly,
And poured it so daintily.
Then sipped from a cup made of dogwood.
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Eggroll

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With six, it is said, you get eggroll,
With seven a hole in your old soul,
With eight I don't know,
It's likely to snow,
And poets will write only doggerel.
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Chautauqua

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A young man I knew from Chautauqua,
Was not very artful, but awkward,
Tripped over his Mum,
To fall on his bum,
And erased all the words on the chalkboard.
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Simile

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An actor named Wilford Brimley,
In search of a suitable simile,
Picked up a thesaurus.
And went on to bore us,
With terms that we only knew dimly.
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Altoona

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A dignified gent from Altoona,
Became a Hawaiian kahuna,
Surrounded himself,
With leis and pelf,
And a really good FM tuna.
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Celts

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A fan of the team called the Celts,
He would not tolerate anyone else,
He told all his beer-oes
That they were his heroes,
He had seen them in The Book of Kells.
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Experience

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A man with no foreign experience,
Found himself dining with Syrians,
He drank some Oolong,
And Lapsang Soochong,
Then ran away over the fence.
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Tennyson

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A fan of the Lord Alfred Tennyson.
Once ate a dinner of venison,
The waitress was charming,
But he found it alarming,
That deer meat was served to its denizen.
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Spondulicks

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There once was a guy with spondulicks,
Who was famous for riding in Buicks,
He smelled like camphor,
And moldy old hamper,
Nor could he deny being prolix,
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Guppy

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A man who thought himself lucky,
Bought an inordinately oversized guppy,
When chid by his mother,
He said to his brother,
Gosh, Bud, I thought 'twas a puppy.
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Organic foods

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Study indicates no benefit from organic foods:
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Click here for article on food study:
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Burnoose

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A lady loosening her burnoose,
Fretted that her pet did vamoose,
She waxed animated,
Became twitterpated,
Then fell down and broke her caboose.
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Doughnuts

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Duncan was eating his doughnuts,
In spite of the fact he had no guts,
He processed the snacks,
With brads, nails and tacks,
And promptly proceeded to go nuts.
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Kowtow

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A tomcat who rode on a sea cow,
Refused unconditionally to kowtow,
He sometimes was criticised,
For being somewhat undersized,
He replied he was not gross meow.
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