Platitude

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A woman inclined to platitude,
To offset her morbid attitude,
On realizing her dearth,
Of variety and mirth,
Moved off to a drier latitude.

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Quote of the day: "A film is never really good unless the camera is an eye in the head of a poet." Orson Welles
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Chevy

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There once was a woman called Debbie,
Who was picked up by Gloria in a Chevy,
Replied she, when asked,
About such a task,
"She's my sister, she ain't heavy."

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Quote of the day: "It is true that I was born in Iowa, but I can't speak for my twin sister." Abigail Van Buren
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Plastic

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A gentleman somewhat monastic,
But flexible, almost elastic,
Got up in the night,
And had a great fright,
When he found he was made out of plastic.

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Quote of the day: "After all is said and done, more is said than done." Aesop
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Waiter

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Kahntoomly from south of the equator,
Was an eloquent and sought after debater,
But his trade was to cater,
So he worked as a waiter,
And got himself  married to a hot little ice-skater.

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Quote of the day: "In a heated argument we are apt to lose sight of the truth." Publilius Syrus
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Fling

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A lady of note went gallumphing.
Had a funky flit, a dumb fling.
She was never the same,
Miraculously became,
A swan from an ugly dumpling

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Quote of the day: "The greatest griefs are those we cause ourselves." Sophocles
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Zinnias

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A right reverend gent called Phineas
Attended daily to his zinnias
But he soon became famous,
For being quite heinous,
And decidedly ignominious.

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Quote of the day: "All empty souls tend toward extreme opinions." William Butler Yeats
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Docked

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When the sailor dropped sail and docked,
His possessions he hastily  hocked,
He frittered away,
His cash in a day,
While his hocked clock tick-tocked

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Quote of the day: "If all economists were laid end to end, they would not reach a conclusion." George Bernard Shaw
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Pingo

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I once had a dog and his name was bingo,
I found him in Alaska on an icy pingo,
He loved Don Cheadle,
And every single Beatle.
So I gave him up to Paul who gave him up to Ringo.

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Quote of the day: "A bird does not sing because it has an answer. It sings because it has a song. Chinese Proverb

Bloomer

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He was a 40's baby boomer,
With a wry, twisted sense of humor,
He fiddled and dawdled,
And fondled and coddled,
And diddled with Amelia Bloomer.

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Quote of the day: "The greatest griefs are those we cause ourselves." Sophocles
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Sectional

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A gent stretching out on his sectional,
His perception not very directional,
Developed the bends,
When he fell off both ends,
It may be that he was dyslexional.

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Quote of the day: "Football is a mistake. It combines the two worst elements of American life. Violence and committee meetings." -George F. Will
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Tilapia

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There once was a fish type; tilapia,
Favored by a Don from the Mafia,
To the chef who denied him,
The fish that delighted him,
He declared, "I'm a-gonna pop-a ya."

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Quote of the day: "The guy who invented the first wheel was an idiot. The guy who invented the other three, he was a genius." Sid Caesar
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Circumflex

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He looked up carat and circumflex,
And Oedipus Rex's Mom complex,
Then went to his lovers
Including their mothers,
And gave to them all a sir-complex.
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Quote of the day: "Silence at the proper season is wisdom, and better than any speech." Plutarch
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Hora

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They call her Intestinal Flora,
She's often seen dancing the Hora,
It's all for the best,
And you know the rest,
Now they're doing it in Bora-Bora.
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Quote of the day: "Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana." Groucho Marx
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Respectable

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A gentleman otherwise respectable,
Was discovered to be dyslexical,
Not being a cynic,
He went to a clinic,
Turned out he was ambi-dextrical
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Quote of the day: "I speak English, so I am no longer cute. My tongue itches for French." Anna Held
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