Hark Ye

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Odysseus was Greek, on that you can mark me,
When he was out plowing the wine-dark sea,
He yelled "Uncle Remus,"
To Polyphemus,
And revealed his own name with a "hark ye!"
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Quote of the day: "The hardest thing to learn in life is which bridge to cross and which to burn." David Russell
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Invention

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A special motor was his sixteenth invention,
The income went well with his pending pension,
Each time it would wiggle,
The motor would giggle,
Every good story has a happy engine.
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Quote of the day: "There is no sincerer love than the love of food." George Bernard Shaw

Sleep

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Now I lay me down to sleep,
On my motorbike 'cause it's so cheap,
I hide in the alley,
Near goofy Sally,
The cops think I 'm a creep.
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Quote of the day: "How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?" Satchel Paige

Gurney

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He took a quick trip on a gurney,
With his stomach all stormy and churney,
Because it was trendy,
He sought to sue Wendy,
But he couldn't afford an attorney.
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Quote of the day: "A good friend can tell you what is the matter with you in a minute. He may not seem such a good friend after telling." Arthur Brisbane,
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Bimbo

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A man who was standing akimbo,
At the side of a well-known bimbo,
In an event most frightening,
Was fricasseed by lightning,
And ushered thereby into limbo.
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Quote of the day: "Nobody sees a flower. really, it is so small it takes time, we haven't time, and to see takes time, like to have a friend takes time." Georgia O'Keeffe

Forge

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A gent by the name of George,
Who worked day and night at the forge,
Ate four slabs of ham,
And a brisket of lamb,
Which badly upset George's gorge.
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Quote of the day: "Curiosity is lying in wait for every secret." Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Fleas

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Worms, bees, ticks, fleas,
All of them can make you wheeze,
If they don't,
Or if they won't,
In any case you'll surely sneeze.
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Quote of the day: "Feelings are not supposed to be logical. Dangerous is the man who has rationalized his emotions." David Borenstein
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Caddy

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A person called Panama Hattie,
Enjoyed playing golf with a caddy,
She shot from a saddle,
With a ping-pong paddle,
She was most certifiably batty.
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Quote of the day: "Ignorance never settled a question." Benjamin Disraeli
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Pandemic

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Her sister, an academic,
Had started a virtual pandemic,
She was ever so manic,
Which engendered a panic,
With her frantic religious polemic
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Quote of the day: "When in doubt, look intelligent." Garrison Keillor
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Rocky

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Watching the movie, Rocky,
Made one fella feel cocky,
He set out one night,
To look for a fight,
He could skate but he couldn't play hockey.
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Quote of the day: "Oh no, the dead have risen and they're voting Republican. Lisa Simpson
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Gutter

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A man rose up from the gutter,
All fitful, a-tizzy, a-flutter,
The dirt would not cease,
He was covered with grease,
But he said 'twas the very best butter.

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Quote of the day: "I think music all the time." Roy Ayers, vibraphonist
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Farctate

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An architect went out and ate,
Five oysters, six eggs and a date,
He tried to eat more,
But dropped to the floor.
Considering he was utterly farctate*.
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Quote of the day: "He was a bold man that first ate an oyster." Jonathan Swift
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* Stuffed.
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Squamous

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A man had a lesion most squamous,
He went to see the Obamas,
They found him meritorious,
He was cured and feeling glorious,
He said, why I'm almost famous.
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Quote of the day: "Elephants and grandchildren never forget." Andy Rooney
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