Pluck

~

~
You are such a funny duck,
That I admire your plucky pluck,
Now it's time to go to bed,
And sleep your sleepy  little head,
So, much good night and way good luck.
~



Picture





Quote of the day: "Golf is more fun than walking naked in a strange place, but not much." Buddy Hackett
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Pectoral

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He had pains trapezial and pectoral,
Which he located by azimuth and vectoral.
He took seven pills,
And left for the hills,
'Cause the city was way too inspectoral.
~
Picture
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Quote of the day: "Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist." George Carlin
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Socks

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He used to watch films about rocks,
On cable tv via Cox
Until he found trouble,
Crashing into some rubble,
While traveling on Route Sexy Socks.
~
Picture
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Quote of the day: "A man that studieth revenge keeps his own wounds green." Francis Bacon
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Tyro

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Once a young tyro from Cairo,
Who married a maniac; pyro,
At the fires she sniffed,
Got mightily miffed,
And  fled in her autogiro.

Picture
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Quote of the day: "Things are more like they are now than they ever were before." Dwight D. Eisenhower
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Bare

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My rabbit is un-furred, hence bare,
The fur feels 'twas treated unfair,
It hopped on  a pony,
And beat up a coney,
So beware of the hair of my hare.
~
Picture
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Quote of the day: "Begin at the beginning and go on till you come to the end; then stop." Lewis Carroll
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Rutabagas

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I planted a passle of new potatoes,
Right next to a patch of rutabagas,
Once they got ripe,
I lit my pipe,
And piled them all up in my Studebakers.
~

Picture
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Quote of the day: "Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask what's for lunch." Orson Welles
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Pickle

-
I used to pay a nickel for a pickle,
Before the reaper gets me with his sickle,
I hope and pray,
And loudly say,
Don't be fickle, give me a pickle for a nickle.
-

Picture
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Quote of the day: "Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read." Groucho Marx
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Kettle

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Throwing herbs and flowers into the kettle,
Stems and roots, whatever would settle,
He rolled up his sleeves,
And pulled out the leaves,
And put the pretty petal to the mettle.
~

Picture
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Quote of the day: "In words are seen the state of mind and character and disposition of the speaker."
Plutarch
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Kittens

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A pretty maid had twenty kittens,
Who had no use for "no admittance",
They went where they chose,
And often would doze,
In unearthed kitchen-middens.
~

Picture

Chamomile

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A singer, Lovett, namely Lyle,
Was barging up and down the Nile,
When Julia came aboard,
He put away his sword,
And served a cup of chamomile.
~

To illustrate the other pronunciation of the word chamomile,
a limerick contributed by Gloria Nelson:

A lady so fine and genteel,
While sipping her hot chamomile,
Went into a tizzy,
When her tea became fizzy,
And out jumped a slippery eel.
~
Pronunciation:

Picture
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Core

~

~
A man who was sore to the core,
Went where no man had been; to the store,
He trampled and scampered,
And refused to be pampered,
So soon was more sore than before.

Picture
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Raisins

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His fitness for his many liaisons,
In back rooms, broad streets and maisons,
Was based on greens,
Tomatoes and beans,
Laced with nuts and occasional raisins.

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Nemesis

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He read in the book of Genesis,
About a dangerous nemesis,
Set out to defeat it,
Decisively beat it,
By hexing his land and the premises.
~

Picture
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Rusty Nails

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~
Rusty nails stick out,
Old boards cracked and bent...
Summer butterflies again.

Picture
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Harp

~

~
A man eating seaweed and carp,
Played several jigs on his harp,
To all 'twas delightful,
And somewhat insightful,
At least according to Garp

~
Picture
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Grandpa

~

~
My grandpa, now, I appreciate,
His sins I am planning to vitiate,
But one I won't abide,
It gets me under my hide,
That's the smelly old fish he ate.
~
Picture
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Alone

~

~
In the boonies in the 90's at the bank getting a loan,
To start up a fast food franchise alone,
The banker said no,
It never would go,
This yere's a organic-farming zone.
~
Picture
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Diddley

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I opened the door to Ned Flanders
Expecting to find Colonel Sanders
He said poo and piddley,
And let out a diddley,
Which shocked the ghost of Ann Landers.

~
Picture
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Mist

~

~
early evening
mist on the lake...
ninja moon

Picture
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Orts

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~
A sailor from multiple ports,
Held contests in various courts.
After each dinner,
He would give to the winner,
A bag full of all sorts of orts
~
Picture
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Pulchritude

~

~
A lady of redoubtable pulchritude,
Was worried about her ineptitude,
At school she would groan,
But now she was grown,
And can blend right in with the multitude.
~
Picture
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Falutin'

~

~
While hootin' and not high-falutin',
A gentleman high on salutin',
Once opened his dossier,
To show he was saucier,
And shook hands with Vladimir Putin.
~
Picture
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Concertina

~

~
A woman named Angelina,
While playing the concertina,
Fell in molasses,
Right up to her glasses,
(Not here but in Argentina).
~
Picture
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Ice Cream

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Steamy August night,
Ice cream cup on my table...
Cat silent, staring.

Picture
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Beiderbecke

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~
Raps by the bushels and pecks,
All about wrecks, necks and sex,.
Are played back and frontwards,
With harsh notes and blunt words,
Not hot notes like Bix Beiderbecke's
~
Picture
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Tangelo

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~
A nun from old Castel Sant' Angelo,
Liked eating a ripe, juicy tangelo,
She ever was chaste,
And even erased,
Some sex drawn by Michaelangelo.
~
Picture
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Interface

~

~
In order to magnify the interface,
He absquatulated the old rat race,
He picked up a kitty,
Just south of the city,
Renamed the cat Ada Lovelace.
~
Picture
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Holy Roller

~

~
Once a hippy dippy Holy Roller,
Had a Cola with a Missy Lola,
When he'd drunk his dippy fill,
She took a hippy dippy pill,
Then off they flew to Apalachicola
~
Picture
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Jabberwocky

~

~
The walrus from the jabberwocky,
Sent his words by walkie-talkie,
Cabbages and kings,
And sundry other things,
When he went away to tlaquepaque,
The beast became a little poppycocky.
~
Picture
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Sarong

~

~
A woman who wore a thong,
Beneath her native sarong,
Took a few bennies,
Laced up her tennies,
And chased after Cheech and Chong.,
~
Picture
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Fork

~

~

~
There was a young lady from York,
Who never took meat, except pork,
She always would clatter,
Utensils and platter,
And ate with a left-handed fork.
~
Picture-1
Picture-2
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Lout

~

~
In town it was bruited about,
That the sheriff had booted a lout,
He claimed 'twas his duty,
To whack the man's booty,
But the townfolk voted him out.

Picture
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Knees

~

~
Resenting the exorbitant fees,
On the gas company's bills he sees,
He couldn't keep warm,
In calm or in storm,
Till he microwaved his knees.
~

Pamplemousse

~

~
She was tragically addicted to moose,
If it was sufficiently loose,
She adored the meat,
Including the feet,
But she also loved pamplemousse.
~
Picture
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Regression

~

~
A banker suffering from depression,
Was hypnotized into regression,
He went on a toot,
Drank out of his boot,
And gave away every possession.
~
Picture
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Mystic

~

~
A gal wearing carloads of lipstick,
Imagined herself to be mystic,
She gazed into crystals,
And shot off her pistols,
And expressed herself most pugilistic.
~
Picture
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Apostolica

~

~
Aquinas wrote Summa theologica
With a weather eye toward apostolica,
The work made him sore,
He would have writ more,
Were it not for his dreadful sciatica.
~
Picture
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Ringer

~

~
A coloratura opera singer,
Caught her left hand in the washer's ringer,
An old-fashioned ringer,
Maytag, not Singer,
She yelled and she sang that she'd broken her finger.

~
Picture
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Givenchy

~

~
A gent with a taste for Givenchy,
Found a woman he thought to be raunchy,
He sidled beside her;
As a subway rider,
But he felt he was clumsy and paunchy.
~
Picture
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Altruistic

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~
He was noble, a true altruistic,
Iambic, not a bit anapestic,
Could turn on a dime,
In a wrinkle of time,
Turned out to be quite the monastic.
~
Picture
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Dump

~

~
A woman of deep-seated grump,
Was known to be down in the dump,
She tried to be happy,
But really felt crappy,
And looked like a vegetable clump.
~
Picture
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Catechistic

~

~
Adapting the sport of cuffs, fistic,
(His motives were not altruistic),
He won lots of matches,
But there were a few catches,
So he introduced rules catechistic,
~
Picture
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Scamper

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~
His grandpa was known to pamper,
Had even taught him to scamper,
When it started to rain,
He'd use his brain,
And come home faster, not damper.
~
Picture
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Apostrophe

~

***
~
Pardon if I use blasphemy,
A missing mark, a catastrophe
Something came in the mail,
And I pulled on its tail,
Its just gotta be my apostrophe,

The one that was lost to me,
When I had my colostomy;
For a period I was in a comma,
I question if it was my momma,
She was always such a boss to me.

It has suddenly come to me,
That I left my apostrophe,
(Nearly forgot it,
Thought I had bought it),
On Michelle Obama's knee
~

Sandal

~

>>>
~
A man was in love with his sandal,
His spouse thought that that was a scandal,
His shoe was his life,
In spite of his wife,
Who called him a poop and a vandal.
~

Cruise

~

***
~
He thought he would take a short cruise,
His troubles and worries to lose,
But it cost so much money,
That it didn't seem funny,
So he decided instead to snooze.
~

Bustard

***
~
While chasing a red tufted bustard,
With which he meant to make custard,
He fell on his belly,
And cried, "Whoa, Nellie,
I slipped on a dollop of mustard".
~

Asian

~

>>>
~
A flu came around with contagion,
Its source they tell me was Asian,
I suffered a bit of it,
Believed not a whit of it,
'twas decidely downtown Caucasian.
~

Whale

~

***
~
A man with a whale in his pool,
Averred that he was not a fool,
The whale eats the spawn,
And sprinkles the lawn,
And keeps my patooties cool.
~