Friday, July 31, 2009


In imitation of Mia Farrow,
A woman both straight and narrow
Distributed presents,
To African peasants,
Traveling by horsecart and wheelbarrow

Thursday, July 30, 2009


Jerome, after having a piece fish,
Emboldened himself to wish,
He closed both his eyes,
They were big as two pies,
And wished he could have a nice knish.

Wednesday, July 29, 2009


A lady who oft played the tambourine
Attempted to enjoy a tangerine,
It was not very ripe,
And in spite of the hype,
It tasted a little like kerosene.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009


A man bought an egg, Fabergé,
Which brought to him much recherché,
He remembered the time,
When he loved her sublime,
But that was only last May.

Monday, July 27, 2009


A duck named Gracie had a thing for drakes,
She chased them around with garden rakes,
When she got invited,
She got so excited,
She forgot how to put on the brakes.

Sunday, July 26, 2009


There once was a gent from Suez,
Who was famous for wearing a fez,
Though know to be prolix,
On tic-tacs and Buicks,
He'd turn up his nose at a pez.

Saturday, July 25, 2009


A man who oft rode his bicycle,
Around and around in his cubicle,
Ran over a wizard,
Who pleated his gizzard,
And twisted the ends of his popsicle.

Friday, July 24, 2009


A woman named Sue was so blue,
She had missed an important cue,
As the curtain came down,
There were whispers in town,
They complained, so Sue said, "so, sue".

Thursday, July 23, 2009


At one time in town it was bruited about,
That the sheriff had roughed up and booted a lout,
He claimed 'twas his duty,
To thwack the man's booty,
But the townsfolk just hooted out loud.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009


A lady in love with Lord Buckingham,
Sent him a card good-lucking him.
He snarled and sniffed at it,
She got so miffed at it,
She seriously considered chucking him.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009


A lady who, feeling sanguine,
Indulged herself with a tangerine,
It was not very ripe,
And in spite of the hype,
It tasted a lot like sour cream.

Monday, July 20, 2009


An alien resembling a gorgon,
Was driving a sportscar, a Morgan,
While looking at knickers,
And munching on Snickers,
His conclusion was already foregone

Sunday, July 19, 2009


I thought that with a mood so sunny,
I might develop a taste for money,
It worked for a trice,
And it added some spice,
Now everything I write just gets punny.

Saturday, July 18, 2009


A man went wading in a pool,
Where he encountered a ghastly ghoul.
He wriggled and thrashed,
Till the ghoul's nose he smashed,
With a chop he had learned in school.

Friday, July 17, 2009


There once was a jolly good soccer mum,
Whose allergies made her quite numb,
In spite of her disability,
She relished her facility,
In hitting the ball with her bum.

Thursday, July 16, 2009


A woman with preference for tangerine,
Would nonetheless feel easy and sanguine,
If her cat had been sweeter,
And half-way he would meet her,
And she wished he would stop all that Badgering

Wednesday, July 15, 2009


A gentleman smelling of Pepsodent,
And not actually a legal resident,
Made many stump speeches,
To roaches and leeches,
It's doubtful he'll ever be president.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009


An alien resembling a gorgon,
Was driving a sportscar, a Morgan,
While peeking at knickers,
And munching on Snickers,
He ran into a moose in Oregon.

Monday, July 13, 2009


There never was a consensus
On the benefit or detriment of fences,
A neighbor might say,
Neighbor, keep away,
And neither would come to their senses.

Sunday, July 12, 2009


A robot, not altogether mechanical.
Made efforts to incorporate a botanical,
He sat on a shelf.
And watered himself,
And deemed he was almost Satanical.

Saturday, July 11, 2009


A man who was terribly prone,
To infection of skin and bone,
He was somewhat reticent,
To use modern medicine,
But injected himself with cortisone.

Friday, July 10, 2009


Un dia en el camposanto
Un ministero fue encanto,
Ël grite ¡ay, Oaxaca!,
Ël dice ¡santa vaca!,
Los muertos son levanto

(English translation)
One day in a graveyard,
A minister was enchanted.
He yelled, Oaxaca!
He said, holy cow!
The dead have risen.

Thursday, July 9, 2009


A man with a sibilant lisp,
Wrote down on his shopping list,
As he adjusted his gaiters,
He wrote: chicken with taters,
But he wanted them crispy,not crisp.

Wednesday, July 8, 2009


Whilst riding through bushes of gorse,
On my ever-obliging horse,
I stopped for some lentils,
With rabbis and Yentls,
And morros with beets, of course.

Monday, July 6, 2009


There once was a hobo named Oscar,
Who habitually slept in a boxcar,
He took singing lessons,
Satisfying his obsessions,
Of appearing in operas like Tosca.

Sunday, July 5, 2009


Once an MP was so sour,
He lost all his parliamentary power,
He paced up and down,
Around London Town,
And then sent himself to the Tower.

Saturday, July 4, 2009


He said, though I don’t like to boast,
I may be the world’s greatest host,
His own praise he was lavishing,
He called his cuisine ravishing,
Though in truth he could only make toast.

Friday, July 3, 2009


There once was a New England farmer,
Whose feelings grew ever warmer,
For Sally the blonde one,
He felt her the fond one,
She was oh such a Nantucket charmer.

Thursday, July 2, 2009


There once was a lady on red alert,
Who struggled and moaned 'cause her stomach hurt,
She needed some soothing
To get herself moving
Cause she'd eaten four shoes and a skirt

Wednesday, July 1, 2009


A man going down in the elevator,
Inadvertantly stepped on a sweet-potater,
He squished it most thoroughly,
Even Edward R. Murrow-ly,
And thrashed around like an alligator.