Tuesday, June 30, 2009


Once there was a baby animal,
Who thought he was nowhere near minimal,
He called himself giant,
And no one denied it,
They said it was mostly subliminimal.

Monday, June 29, 2009


In the days of old Tom Dooley,
(A gent both unkempt and unruly),
A quartet at Yale,
Whilst dining on quail,
Would sing, off-key – Boola-Booley

Sunday, June 28, 2009


A man who was partial to highballs,
Would drink, then go out and catch flyballs,
He piled them in stacks,
And filled gunny sacks,
Until they were up to his eyeballs.

Saturday, June 27, 2009


Some lady in a Gucci pants-suit,
Fell all the way down a clam chute,
Then dined with yo mama,
And the Dalai Lama,
On food that was already chewed.

Friday, June 26, 2009


A soldier, a tireless marcher,
A girl he wanted to watch her,
Though she would not scorn him,
A friend tried to warn him,
Her daddy's a pretty good archer.

Thursday, June 25, 2009


Once while reading her missal,
She encountered a high flying missile,
Oh my, oh my,
She said with a sigh,
Now that was slick as a whistle.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009


There once was a gent from Kowloon,
Who opened a Chinese saloon,
Just for a lark,
He went to the park,
And flew off in a hot air baloon.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009


There once was a dachshund from Bimini,
Whose best friend, a cricket called Jiminy,
quieted his fears,
And mopped up his tears,
So his worries went straight up the chiminy.

Monday, June 22, 2009


A vigorous man with a sore toe,
Confounded the bones of his torso.
He wriggled and twisted,
Till his doctor insisted,
That he stop it and rest even more so.

Saturday, June 20, 2009


A lady of note from Khartoum,
Was fond of a funny cartoon,
She took off her clothes,
And stuck up her nose,
That cartoon baboon from Khartoum.

Friday, June 19, 2009


A monk was inclined to get prostrate,
To avoid becoming apostate,
He was often perplexed,
At being so over-sexed,
I'll bet you thought I would mention his prostate.

Thursday, June 18, 2009


Deciding to go off on a toot,
He donned his silk parachute,
Jumped out of his glider
And landed beside her,
On top of her basket of fruit

Wednesday, June 17, 2009


A lady dressed up for cotillion,
Wore white, cerise and carnelian,
She re-colored her cells,
And blended with swells,
So everyone called her chameleon.

Tuesday, June 16, 2009


A man had some trouble with earwax,
From contact, it seems, with a hyrax,
It got on his fingers,
It lingers and lingers,
And ruins his Canons and Kodaks.

Monday, June 15, 2009


While playing at jacks, on her sixies,
She was ogled and winked at by pixies,
She played the piano
and fell on her can-oh!
Then sang songs with all the Chicks, Dixies.

Sunday, June 14, 2009


Un chef de la sous mayonnaise,
Was put through a difficult phase,
When offered some yeast,
To go with his feast,
He countered, I don't want the raise.

Saturday, June 13, 2009


Two comics, Abbot and Costello
Together both frantic and mellow,
So successful the pair,
They had riches to spare.
So they dined on kreplach and jello.

Friday, June 12, 2009


As I punted along the Amazon,
A native called out to me, Ham is on!
I hadn't the right clothes,
Was still in my night clothes
And I never take lunch with pajamas on.

Thursday, June 11, 2009


Determined he'd never pollute,
He wore only grass for a suit,
As he paraded through town,
The grass would fall down,
And she'd tickle his cute little boot.

Wednesday, June 10, 2009


One day on the Rue de la Paix,
Claimed a tired and aging roué.
For what I do in France
When I remove my pants,
In Spain they would shout out olé.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009


An auteur took his movie to Sundance.
Where he saw others in abundance,
He took fourteenth place,
In the cineaste's race,
The viewers denounced his redundance.

Monday, June 8, 2009

Cannibal Limerick

The cannibal sings while he slices,
Happily pursuing his vices,
When asked for the recipe,
He answers quite readily,
My friend, it’s all in the spices.

Sunday, June 7, 2009


A man going down in the elevator,
Was pondering like any deliberator,
He wondered and thought,
He struggled and fought,
And thrashed his tail like a crocodile.

Friday, June 5, 2009


Said she upon one condition,
I’d like to take a position;
I want to attempt,
To be kept exempt,
From the laws of alien and sedition