Monday, August 31, 2009



A builder with gallons of play-doh,
After a large meal of beef and potato,
With considerable hassle,
Constructed a castle,
Finished with rabbet and dado.

Sunday, August 30, 2009



On his leg was a homemade tourniquet,
That man who had words with the local twit,
He was still a born fighter,
So he twisted it tighter,
Then went blue and died when he had a fit.

Saturday, August 29, 2009



A woman with pads in her bustle,
Was feeling a bit short of muscle,
Came on to a gent,
Who was tired and spent,
And found herself doing the hustle

Friday, August 28, 2009


A musician who hated Earl Bostic
Once hit him with a la crosse stick
She snorted and whimpered,
She flipped and she simpered,
And soon she did wax really caustic.

Thursday, August 27, 2009



A fox who was raising her kits,
Had one that was giving her fits,
She wheedled and cajoled him,
Proceeded to scold him,
Then paddled him right where he sits.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009


An old guy I knew from Siam, he
Moved far away, to Miami,
He went there to meet her,
His wife in the theater,
She could act some but was terribly hammy.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009


A hot tennis ace, Roger Federer,
Got better and better and better-er,
Till his girlfriend came up,
And he lost the big cup,
He wished that he never had met-her-er.

Monday, August 24, 2009


He noticed the sloop's sail was luffing,
So he proceeded at puffing and huffing,
With high flying hopes,
He wrestled the ropes,
It was really much ado about nothing.

Sunday, August 23, 2009


A lady of looks and pretension,
Went naked to get some attention,
The neighbors were flustered,
Threw chick peas and mustard,
And sent her off to detention

Saturday, August 22, 2009


A woman of mien most indignant,
Discovered, either real or a figment,
A node on the toad,
Living in her abode,
Happily, it was not malignant.

Friday, August 21, 2009


A little old lady from Terre Haute,
Had two red hens and a billy goat,
The goat ran away,
And the hens wouldn't lay,
So she left town on the very next ferry boat.

Thursday, August 20, 2009


Detective, Sir Alan Quatermas,
Loved a maiden from old Cape Hatteras,
To his ultimate shock,
She turned into a rock,
And he to a duck-billed platypus.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009


A fox who was raising her kits,
Had one that was giving her fits,
She wheedled and cajoled him,
Proceeded to scold him,
Then paddled him right where he sits.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009


While blowing the fluff off a thistle,
I inadvertantly started to whistle,
Then chewed on a drumstick,
And conjured a limerick,
Researching a rhyme for gristle,

Monday, August 17, 2009


After traveling down by funicular,
A gentleman rather cunicular,
Exploring a cave,
Was soon very brave,
And even became spelunkular.

Sunday, August 16, 2009


Egg-timer: Device to determine how long it takes an egg to roll down an incline in the egg olympics.

Click here for more.

Saturday, August 15, 2009

Friday, August 14, 2009


While drinking a thimble of Chardonnay,
And thinking of a sunset by Claude Monet,
My glass was replenished,
Until I was finished,
After which I departed Zone A.

Thursday, August 13, 2009


A lady who lived in Managua,
Would make tea with Perrier agua,
She dipped her bag faintly,
And poured it so daintily.
Then sipped from a cup made of dogwood.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009


With six, it is said, you get eggroll,
With seven a hole in your old soul,
With eight I don't know,
It's likely to snow,
And poets will write only doggerel.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009


A young man I knew from Chautauqua,
Was not very artful, but awkward,
Tripped over his Mum,
To fall on his bum,
And erased all the words on the chalkboard.

Monday, August 10, 2009


An actor named Wilford Brimley,
In search of a suitable simile,
Picked up a thesaurus.
And went on to bore us,
With terms that we only knew dimly.

Sunday, August 9, 2009


A dignified gent from Altoona,
Became a Hawaiian kahuna,
Surrounded himself,
With leis and pelf,
And a really good FM tuna.

Saturday, August 8, 2009


A fan of the team called the Celts,
He would not tolerate anyone else,
He told all his beer-oes
That they were his heroes,
He had seen them in The Book of Kells.

Friday, August 7, 2009


A man with no foreign experience,
Found himself dining with Syrians,
He drank some Oolong,
And Lapsang Soochong,
Then ran away over the fence.

Thursday, August 6, 2009


A fan of the Lord Alfred Tennyson.
Once ate a dinner of venison,
The waitress was charming,
But he found it alarming,
That deer meat was served to its denizen.

Wednesday, August 5, 2009


There once was a guy with spondulicks,
Who was famous for riding in Buicks,
He smelled like camphor,
And moldy old hamper,
Nor could he deny being prolix,

Tuesday, August 4, 2009


A man who thought himself lucky,
Bought an inordinately oversized guppy,
When chid by his mother,
He said to his brother,
Gosh, Bud, I thought 'twas a puppy.

Monday, August 3, 2009

Organic foods

Study indicates no benefit from organic foods:
Click here for article on food study:


A lady loosening her burnoose,
Fretted that her pet did vamoose,
She waxed animated,
Became twitterpated,
Then fell down and broke her caboose.

Sunday, August 2, 2009


Duncan was eating his doughnuts,
In spite of the fact he had no guts,
He processed the snacks,
With brads, nails and tacks,
And promptly proceeded to go nuts.

Saturday, August 1, 2009


A tomcat who rode on a sea cow,
Refused unconditionally to kowtow,
He sometimes was criticised,
For being somewhat undersized,
He replied he was not gross meow.